Kelly Spenhoff

The thought of being asked this question makes me anxious. I can’t give an answer that people are looking for.

When someone asks me what I do, I never know what to say. I’m a writer. I’m an avid knitter. I’m a mom. I’m a wife. I like to say I’m a trophy wife because it makes me laugh. We’ve been together for more than a quarter century and have 5 kids together. I guess I was a trophy worth keeping! 

The problem is that I think people want me to answer with a job that I make a living at. No one ever asks “What are you working on right now?” Or “What are you passionate about?” I don’t have a job title, but I’ve got plenty of answers to those questions. 

I’m knitting a white textured cardigan with glow-in-the-dark stars, it’s titled Popcorn Ceiling. I’m crocheting a skirt for my upcoming trip to Hawaii. I’m collecting thrift store art so I can redecorate my hallway and 2 of my bathrooms. I’m experimenting with substituting whole wheat flour in some of my favorite bread recipes. I’m planning how I’m going to make my outdoor spaces more inviting this summer.

I don’t usually ask people what they do when I meet them. But I also don’t ask what they’re passionate about. So, I can’t really complain. 

I wonder if “What do you do?” always meant “How do you make money?” And is it just me, or is the real question “How much money do you make?” My life is so much more than the money I make. Which is a good thing because you can’t get much less than the money I make right now! 

Our lives are bigger than the money we earn. And a job title can’t begin to describe the depth and breadth of our lives.

I am actively creating the life I want. I should be able to put that into words. 

This is one of those times where I need to pause and touch base with myself. When I catch myself glossing over something that I actually have thoughts about, I stop and get intentional. I noticed myself glossing over the answer to that question enough times to realize I better look a little closer at the real answer.

Creating the life I want involves a lot of tightening up the vision. The life I’m creating has lots of space and freedom, but the vision needs to be tight. If I don’t know what I want, I’m just taking what is offered.

Really, the problem isn’t the question. The problem is that I don’t know how to answer it. I can say whatever I want. Politicians answer the question they want, not the question they’re asked, all the time. My answer doesn’t have to be a sound bite. I can actually say what I do.

What do I do? 

Funny you should ask. 

I’m a writer. 

I write about being the Creative Director of Your Own Life and I also blog about my crafts. The best part of writing is that it gives me time and space to keep doing everything else I love.

The next time someone asks what I do, I might actually know what to say!